There's more than I thought.

Yesterday was the first real taste of the negative impact of having sent my letter. Today gave me some more details.

I met with the minister, and from what he told me, the negative reaction is huge. He has received phone calls and letters from other ministers in the city, church members, and outside members of the community. A lot of people are angry and upset and want to know what the church is going to do about it.

Now, in being certain to use my own resources to send the letter out and avoid mentioning the church, I thought I had covered myself so that this was an independent thing and not church-related. When the minister told me that he was going to call the appropriate committee together to deal with the issue, I asked what there was to deal with. I didn't do this as a church thing, why should the church do anything? Because:

1- As the director of music, I am a leader in the church. If my actions make church and community members uncomfortable and angry, I am impeding my ability to function as a leader.

2- Some parents have told the minister they will not let their children sing in a youth choir with me. If church members are unable to trust me with their children, how can I have a youth choir?

3- This past summer I told some people that Andrew was a former student of mine. This raises an ethical issue: if I was having a relationship with a student, then I have misbehaved and such behavior is intolerable. Note the "if." I am not commenting on this issue. As far as I'm concerned, what I did years ago in a state 400 miles from here has no bearing on my current job whatsoever.

4- Because the outrage is so widespread in the community, my actions could be seen as hurting the church. Even though this is hard to quantify, it could be said that if I have damaged the reputation of the church, I should not be a staff member.

Further, many people are upset by the length and content of the letter. As yesterday's writer said, "there was entirely too much information." Interesting side note: I told the minister I would not have changed that in retrospect because I felt it had to be personalized to have had an impact; if it had only been half a page it would not have been persuasive enough. The minister told me he knew of at least one person who was so angered by my letter that he voted for the amendment, even though he had planned on voting against it. Yes, this is what I'm up against.

So there's all these angry people demanding something be done. A church leader (a "higher authority") told the minister that the committee must meet to address the issue.

Question: what can be done about the issue?

Answer: anything from nothing to my being dismissed.

I called a friend who works for the American Guild of Organists Headquarters in NYC. He assured me that I had done nothing wrong in exercising my freedom of speech as an American. So... legally, I have done nothing wrong, and yet there are enough angry people demanding some kind of payback. It is extremely likely that this will now blow over, so I'm left wondering what can really be done to "amend" things. Short of my being dismissed (we used to say, "short of being fired," but that doesn't sound so nice, does it?), I can't really imagine what is left. Do they demand a public apology? Do they redefine my job and ask me to sign a contrast in which I agree not to discuss my political views with city members? I cannot imagine conceding to either of these points, so it all boils down to my being dismissed, or my excusing myself.

Maybe none of this will come to pass. Maybe it will just blow over. From the conversation with the minister, though, that doesn't seem likely. I'm not expecting to hear much for another week or so, but you may want to check out this page from time to time.

It is amazing that love and compassion could make people so angry.

-Brett