The last entry... for now.
Having met with two members of the staff-parish committee, I have a better idea of yesterday's meeting. The two members chosen to have lunch with me are also choir members, so it was a gentle and pleasant conversation. There were two main points the committee wanted to convey:
1 - They want reassurance from me that sending this letter is not to be the first of a series of controversial, public acts that I'm going to make. The church is having a difficult time with membership and they can't afford to engage in any controversy. (Side note: Jesus, the figurehead of the Christian church, never fled controversy - never mind losing followers, he actually gave up his life to torture and crucifixion in the process. It is a sad state of affairs that his followers will put political concerns ahead of being brave and following their teacher.)
My response to this was to indicate that I am not likely to become a hugely controversial figure with repeated protests, letters to the editor, etc. However, I will not sit by in silence while flagrant human rights violations are being committed. As I did in the writing and sending of this letter, I will discuss my proposed actions with the leaders of the church so that they may voice concerns. Next...
2 - There is the PDA concern. Brett: Have my actions led anyone to think that this should be a concern? Response: Well, no, but you are in a small town and it is difficult to separate your private and your professional life. What you do in private impacts your professional status.
They are basically asking me not to touch Andrew in public. Granted, I'm not likely to walk down the street in broad daylight holding Andrew's hand. Holding your beloved's hand is a way to have a quiet display of intimacy that is innocent yet sweetly touching. However, if cars begin honking and rednecks start jumping out of their cars to smear a couple queers, it's no longer so sweet.
Here was my return question: Is hugging such a PDA? When told that yes, that can be taken the wrong way, I demonstrated how preposterous that was, as I have publicly hugged lots of people - male and female - and it would be absurd to hug others and nod my head at Andrew. I will be discreet and not do anything to flagrantly attract attention to homosexuality, however, I ask in return that, should someone voice anger at my hugging Andrew in a silly context (choir party, end of a big concert, etc.), they treat the person's ridiculous concern with the appropriate disregard.
That's about it, my dear readers. The church now has an "official position" and has "dealt with" the letter. Rumors that it was an act of insubordination will henceforth be squelched. I do not need to meet with the committee, and though I have read some more angry letters, I no longer feel the need to write them down. It's a lot of ignorance.
What now? Business as usual. It is hard to ignore the fact that certain people now hate me because of the letter. Sitting in meetings, I am aware that some of these people have written angry letters, some have spread rumors, and others wish for me to resign.
It has worked out well, but in the end, it is clear that I do not belong here. This should not have been such a big deal in the first place. People should not have seen a gentle and loving letter as an attack or act of insubordination. Rather than causing them to think, they just rebuilt their walls of ignorance with stronger fortifications. How sad.
Still, it caused some people to think, and some to change their vote. I am happy for that. Others feel that they have someone to talk to who will not judge them and who is not afraid to discuss gay-related issues. This, too, is a beautiful thing.
I would like to thank all of you who have given me your support, either through leaving comments, sending e-mails, or speaking with me on the phone (extra thanks to those entrapped on the phone with me in one of my, um, stronger moods!). I am grateful to have such a group of friends, family, and loved ones.
The blog has now run its course. There may be an addendum later on, but I think this about does it. I may start writing just for kicks, so check back every now and then should you feel so inclined.
Namaste.
-Brett
